An addition to the Stellan name gallery

Unfortunately it's not a great photo, but Stellan has travelled again. Paris the other day. Then the White House. And today he went to Ottawa, in particular the Parliament buildings. We didn't see the Prime Minister, but we did see the Peace Tower and we caught a glimpse of the Parliamentary Library, too.



If you'd like to view the Stellan name gallery, you can click on http://www.mycharmingkids.net/2008/08/eventually-these-photographs-will-be-in.html.

If you'd like to add your own photo to the name gallery, you can send it to stellansnamegallery@gmail.com.

I'm still hoping for a quick recovery for sweet Stellan.


Just me,

Porscha

Not Me! Monday - Stellan Style

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. Usually you could head over to her blog at http://www.mycharmingkids.net to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week, but this week is a special week since MckMama's youngest son, Stellan, has been in the hospital for the past week. This week, Not me! Monday will be "Stellan style".

So here it goes, my first Not Me! Monday:

I did not upload the first "Praying for Stellan" button/ photo to my Facebook to share his story and ask my 'friends' to pray for Stellan and his family. Which really is a special thing since I am not not an atheist.

I did not change my morning routine with my six-month-old to start the day, after her diaper change and nursing, with a trip to the computer to see how sweet Stellan has been doing; then having breakfast and playtime.

I did not not yet take my photo for the Stellan name gallery, but this will be my main thing to do today. A trip to Canadian parliament it will be, in lieu of a trip to the American one. I know I won't see the Prime Minister, but I will capture where he does his work :-)

I did not shed tears over seeing the first photo of Stellan in the hospital. It broke my heart to see his little red eyes. Please little MckMuffin, get well soon little buddy.

That's it for this week. Feel free to share what you did not do this week, too!


Just me,

Porscha

I Want to be the Village

I know the old adage "It takes a village to raise a child". And I agree that there is probably some truth to it. But as my daughter nears six months old - halfway through my maternity/ parental leave - I am thinking more and more about how I am supposed to be heading back to work, and leave my precious daughter in the care of a stranger. I just can't do it.

I have told my husband a number of times now that I want to stay home and raise my daughter. I want to be the village. I need more ammunition to convince him that these months and early years with our daughter are more important than the tens of thousands of dollars I would be bringing in to our household. I can do without upgrades to the camp, the toys at the camp, going out for suppers, travelling to the east coast and even to visit our families... I can't 'do with' leaving someone else to pick up my daughter and comfort her when she hurts herself or is sick. I can't 'do with' someone else feeding her and teaching her songs and her ABCs and how to count and say 'I love you'. I'm her mommy. She has been the answer to my childhood dreams.

I would feel like a complete failure if I give her to someone else to raise. I won't be happy with only spending a half hour with her in the morning, and just supper and bathtime in the evening during the week, and then just having the pleasure of her company during the weekends. What would make me happy is knowing that all the good things and bad things that she learns will come from me. This is not at all to say that I would keep her isolated in our house. There are all sorts of mommy-baby playgroups that we can go to. There are free activities at the library and free access to the pool. And we have the wonderful great outdoors available to us.

I can do this. I just need a plan to present to my husband. And I need to stand firm that this is what is best for our family.


Just me,

Porscha

Let the Sun Shine In

The song "Open Up Your Heart and Let the Sun Shine In" means a few different things to me. As a child, I only knew the chorus, and I thought it was mainly about being positive, optimistic and open. Upon looking up the entire lyrics to this song, however, there's a whole new meaning for me.

Something important to know about me is that I am an atheist. I grew up going to a Catholic school and celebrating Christmas, Easter and various saints days with my family. I've been baptized, confirmed and married in the Catholic church, and I have had my pumpkin baptized as well. I also teach her Christian morals. I go to church from time to time, especially since the birth of my daughter. Yet I am not a believer. And I am comfortable with this, even if it is a secret that I keep from some people. However, since becoming a mother, I have marvelled at how miraculous life is. And with reading about people's stories of suffering and loss, in particular of their children, and being amazed by their faith in God, well, sometimes I wonder if I really am a non-believer. I guess maybe I am becoming more 'open' to God. And I'm beginning to let the sun shine in.



Open Up Your Heart and Let the Sun Shine In

Mommy told me something
A little kid should know
It's all about the devil
And I've learned to hate him so
She said he causes trouble
When you let him in the room,
He will never ever leave you
If your heart is filled with gloom.

So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Smilers never lose
And frowners never win
So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Open up your heart
and let the sun shine in.

When you are unhappy
The devil wears a grin
But oh, he starts to running
When the light comes pouring in
I know he'll be unhappy
'Cause I'll never wear a frown
Maybe if we keep on smiling
He'll get tired of hanging 'round.

If I forget to say my prayers
The devil jumps with glee
But he feels so awful
When he sees me on my knees
So if you're full of trouble
And you never seem to win
Just open up your heart
and let the sun shine in.

So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Smilers never lose
And frowners never win
So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Open up your heart
And let the sun shine in.


Just me,

Porscha